Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
