Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
