We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
