I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
