I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My ATM looks so different sober.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
