wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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