She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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