i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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