Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
