I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
