Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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