So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
