I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
