You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
