i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
