If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
