IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
