he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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