i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
