I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
