my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
