I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
