The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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