Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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