I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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