Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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