i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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