okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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