why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
