she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
