my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
