If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
