Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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