i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
