Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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