I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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