I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
