He asked to "fluff my boner.."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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