i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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