I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
