we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
