What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
