his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
