Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
