I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
