sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
