Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
