from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
