somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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