she was so not down for the gang bang
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
