I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
