please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
